After spending two months inside our houses, the world is beginning to reopen. Governors across the country are rolling out plans to open businesses, restaurants, and stores. People are returning to salons, eating out, and heading back to work. But to be honest, I’m not in a big rush to re-enter the world just yet.
Being a type 1 diabetic, it’s been said that we are part of the immune-compromised community and are at a bigger risk of COVID-19 infection than those around us. Although I keep a pretty low A1C, always take care of my health, and generally tend to have a strong immune system, it’s hard to keep the intrusive “what if” thoughts at bay.
So yeah, the thought of returning to the world I once knew, isn’t going to happen anytime soon — and that scares me.
I am anxious for a lot of reasons regarding the opening of the country. I’m mostly scared of the unknown. Will an accidental eye itch after a door handle touch be the end of me? Will I end up as one of those horror stories of COVID-19 cases? How much worse will things get now that the country is re-opening without a vaccine? These are constant thoughts lurking in the back of my mind.
Beyond the unknown, I am also anxious about my reactions in situations that I used to be okay in. I’m anxious about not feeling comfortable in a group of people again. I’m worried that my anxiety about situations will be a burden to friends or family, who may not have to take extra immune-compromised precautions. And I’m having trouble thinking about re-entering the outside world when this illness could either be extremely serious or not show symptoms in my body at all.
I’m not ready to run to a crowded restaurant or bar or fly on a plane, Heck, I’m not even ready to go to a grocery store! (Thank god for Adam during this.) I’m hoping that as we ease into our new “normal” life, I regain confidence in being out in public, get used to never leaving the house without hand sanitizer, and find peace with the sudden changes we are all facing.
For now, I am taking this adjustment to our new world one day at a time.